mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Better and Better Although I am still a little worried about twenty-seven (which is still speeding ever closer) I feel like I am on a good path for 3x3x3. What I mean by that is I am waking up and I am finding that this person who is finding her way back to this brain is the me I liked the very best with the (meager, oh so tiny amount of) wisdom that Alternate Reality Angela picked up over the past several years. Borrowed "A Man Without a Country" from my sister tonight and was happy for two reasons: one, because even though I went away, the things that I loved stayed put and seemed to age better than I thought static things could, and two: my sister owns that book?! Sweet girl. She is growing up good. I don't mean "well," I mean "good," she is growing up to be good. I was inspired to replace some of the books I have loaned out/lost over the years and I am excited to be excited. I also made a conscious decision to grow up good myself when I came home from work and discovered Matt and his new ladyfriend across the hall from my bedroom-- initially, there may have been some panic and nausea, but it was replaced with something better and much more peaceful. The woman I want to be is forgiving and does not hang on to old hurts, so I didn't. I told Bryan that his friends, any of them, ALL of them, are welcome anytime. The important part is that I meant it. It's water under the bridge anymore, anyhow. Had a conversation with Dad in which I shared with him this strange feeling creeping over me that this time is time for just becoming the person I have always thought I should be, that person that looked ideal and impossible. Work in progress. Put good things in, send good things out. Be better than okay, be better than before, and oh, Billy, I am almost home now. 11:48 p.m. - 2010-02-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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