mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the ghost beneath the stairs Where the hell is my mind, lately? What the hell is going on here? When I was in television production classes, we used all sorts of transitions to switch from scene to scene; Cuts, fades, picture-in-picture effects. Lately, the days have been blurring together. Each one starts with a fade-in, and finishes with a fade-out, and I can't exactly put my finger on the spot where one day ends and another begins. I feel like such a drama-queen saying this, but I've made several huge decisions over the past few weeks. I AM going to college next semester, come hell or high water. I will NOT make the same mistakes my Mother did, the same ones she so desperately wants me to avoid.
I am going to get serious about music- It's the one thing I am truly, completely passionate about, and I want to be able to share my thoughts and feelings through it. It's going to take time, but I want this. I'm willing to work hard at it, for once.
I am going to learn how to drive, for real this time. I'm almost twenty years old, and I panic behind the wheel of a car. It seems like that is the final step to complete independence- I already support myself and live on my own- And now I'm ready to drive. It's been draining, making all of these changes at once. It hit me, the other day, that if I don't buckle down and make something of myself now, I probably never will. If I don't write as often, don't worry about me. I'm just busy, after years of doing nothing at all. 5:52 a.m. - 2003-03-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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