mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary

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loose laces

Skip like a record, yeah?

I would rip all of my favorite memories out of the past if I could, the treehouse and the water, the candies in Grandma's purse, Mom rowing us out to the middle of the lake, the first time a kiss ever made me breathless, when one amazing little girl learned to say my name, waltzing in my socks on the lineoleum, silver hands under the streetlights, walking barefoot through wet grass with the first boy I ever loved, hearing that mysterious song my Dad plays for me on his guitar... I want to tear them from then and paste them over now. Because I would die for a kid who I'm inevitably going to lose, and I wasted two years of my life loving somebody who never loved me back, and I'm scared, so fucking scared, that this, right now, is what I'm going to be forever.
He fell in love with Anne Frank? Well I fell in love with a dream, and dreams aren't even fucking real to begin with.

11:50 p.m. - 2005-06-06

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