mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Take Me To Your Weeder So, I guess this makes it official: I am no longer in denial about my relationship. I understand that it is a dead thing that cannot be resuscitated. I understand that Zach and I can never have a relationship that is beneficial to the both of us, no matter how much we want to. I understand that I love him, too, regardless of how often I say I dont, and I understand that I feel like fucking death over this. Zach is selfish, plain and simple, and I understand that, too. After all, you have to take care of yourself before you can truly take care of anyone else. After all, if you arent selfish, and if you dont look out for your own best interests, who will? I am just confused- Confused about my sexuality, confused about what I want my future to be, and confused over whether or not I want to stick it out here in Vegas or pack up and get the fuck out. About my current crush: His name is Gary, and he is a 39 year old motorcycle mechanic. He has a 16 year old daughter and a frightening ex-wife who probably hates my guts. Hes about 5ft3, 180, and his nickname is "Keebler." This is another confusing issue in itself. 12:21 a.m. - 2002-04-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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