mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary

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Im just going to keep writing stupid little entries until I feel better.

Ive been having all of these doubts about my sexuality lately. Perhaps its just curiousity- After all, isnt everybody at least a little curious about what its like with someone of the same gender?

-If you are offended by sex in any way, shape, or form, skip this section.-

Zach doesnt turn me on anymore. Most men dont, and although there are a scant few that do, it isnt very intense at all. According to Andrew, I DO like men, just not the one Im with.

I honestly dont know what I feel, anymore.

And I thought I was past this angsty teenager shit.

I baked Zach fucking cookies yesterday, his favorite kind. I made a bunch of little cherry jello shapes for the ungrateful bastard, just because I thought he liked them.

I cleaned the cat box. I put away his socks. I made his lunch, and I cooked his dinner, and I bought him a present (a little one) and I TRIED MY HARDEST TO LOOK BEAUTIFUL FOR HIM WHEN HE CAME HOME FROM WORK.

And I got nothing in return- He barely spat out a "Thanks" before going back to being the sarcastic, selfish asshole he is most of the time.

2:16 a.m. - 2002-04-12

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