mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just Yesterday Morning... Sigh. Ah, to be young and in love! Thats right- Im just wishy-washy enough to change my mind about Zach and the course of our relationship after I spent months griping about it. You know, it takes a big person to admit that perhaps they are wrong- And if theres any one word that could possibly describe me, its BIG. : )) Anyhow, since I couldnt sleep at all last night, I had a lot of time to think. I came to this conlusion: I am so used to Zach being an obnoxious jerk-off, that when he drops his macho shit-head act, Im still on the defense. Wait, wait, wait. That came out wrong. Ahem. I can hold a grudge forever. Make me feel like shit one time, and Ill make sure that you never, ever forget it. True, Zach does have his faults- His mahy, many faults- But so do I. I can nag like nobody's business. (Thanks, Mom, for passing on this admirable talent! Where would I be without your influence?) I can pick out the one thing that somebody is most sensitive about, and I can exaggerate it to the point where they feel like an utter and complete loser. (Gee, Mom, another great quality I inherited from you!! Love you!) I can change my mind about something or somebody so quick that anyone around me is so confused that they dont know how to respond. (Aww, Daddy, Mom wasnt the only one passing down all the good stuff. Kiss kiss.) To sum it up, I can be a bitch if I want to... And lately, Ive been wanting to. Im not sure why I suddenly changed my mind, but I am determined to at least try to make this relationship work. At one point, it was one of the best things I had going for myself. Even though I almost fucked it up for good, I think I can salvage some of it, and that Zach and I can build something new to replace the things that we destroyed. 1:12 a.m. - 2002-04-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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