mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Cell of my Heart Feeling all kinds of strange today. Immediately after I wrote last night's entry, Matt called. Half of me was ecstatic to hear from him, and the other half was so sad to feel the distance between us. Now, normally I do not post any of my poetry on here, due to my incredible sense of inferiority, but I think that this will tell you exactly how I felt after our conversation: Devastatingly silent is how you left me; Doldrums depression deflated and all of those 'D' words cant't begin to dedscribe anything. My hands shook, and my head shook, so I slammed them together and hoped at the very least they'd shake in time with each other. You think of me every day, and every day I think of me dying. Somebody please cut my veins and arteries. My heart is bloodless anyway. You respect me more than anyone, and I respect no one less than myself. Never been into physical pain as an emotional release, but right now I want to set myself on fire. Never been into sex as punishment, but right now I want some one to make my body as torn as everything else. I'm bent so far over that breaking is inevitable at this point. Not to worry, readers, I am not suicidal. Another reason I dont post poetry: No one seems to undeerstand that just by writing it, I can make things a little bit better. Good day, everyone. Take care of yourselves. 10:52 a.m. - 2002-08-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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