mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7 Inch Tonight... Tonight was good. No, not the date part. That wasnt so great. It was awkward and we have nothing at all in common. Here. Ill start from the top. 4:00pm- I call Mike to set the specifics for our date. He agrees to meet me at my apartment at 6:30. Zach and I pay bills, grocery shop, etcetera, until exactly 6pm. 6:30- No Mike. I sit and stare at the clock until 6:50pm, when I go to Zachs apartment and ask if he'd like to accompany me instead. He agrees, and within seconds Mike shows up. 7:15pm- We all go to show TOGETHER. Me, my puppydog-eyed date, and the ex boyfriend that Ive still got the hots for. The conversation on the ride there was bad. Bad like getting pepper spray in your eye. Bad like sticking your hand into a vat of boiling oil. Bad like swimming the Amazon River wearing a wetsuit made out of steak. Mike and I have NOTHING in common. Hes nice, hes attractive, and I hope that we can be friends, but we would make a horrible couple. I confess, I was a really shitty date. I kept sneaking off while the bands were playing just to relieve the tension that I was feeling. I was a bitch. Im not proud of the fact that I wasnt an attentive date, but it was really the only way I could deal with the situation. I hope Mike understands. Anyhow, at about 10:30pm, I told the guys that I was feeling very tired, and the date ended. I am feeling a small twinge of guilt, but I suppose that what I did was better than leading him on. Maybe. Sigh. And now for the good part. While I was out tonight, I saw a few people that I had not seen in ages. It was wonderful to be able to talk to my old friends again. It reminded me of the person I used to be, and it made me realize that that person is still somewhere inside of me, no matter what she is buried under. I saw old crushes, and high-school friends, and kids that I had shared crazy nights with. I saw how much I am missing out on by shutting myself off from the world around me. It was beautiful to feel something good for once. : )) 11:25 p.m. - 2002-09-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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