mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Running Around On The Other Side Sigh, sigh, sigh. I really and truly have no idea what I want to do with my life. None at all. Last week, my plan was to leave Las Vegas next year and attend college in Michigan. After that, I was going to put my schooling to use and spend the next ten years as a veterinarian. At age 36, I was going to retire and start a small business, preferably a restaurant/coffee house. Two weeks ago, I had decided that I was going to eke out a living as a waitress until I hit 21, when I would start bar tending full time. When I had enough money set aside, I was going to do the coffee house thing and travel on the profits. Now, I think I would like to marry/date a very rich person, start my own business on their money, get rich, and spend the rest of my life doing nothing and being happy. And drinking coffee. Why do I have to choose, anyway? I definitely want to go to college, but maybe not in Michigan. I have so much unfinished business here, too many people that I want to get to know. If I left next year without having made some sort of an impression on this city, it would bother me forever. When I was on my doomed-from-the-very-beginning date, I kept seeing familiar faces everywhere, and they made me feel such an intense sense of longing. Out of all of those familiar faces, only a few were people that I had ever actually spoken to. The rest were kids that I had admired from afar but never gained the courage to approach. They saw me, and they acknowledged me, and I still couldnt muster the guts to say hello. To say that I wanted the chance to get to talk to them, find out who they really are. To say that they had fascinated me for years. What if I leave Las Vegas without ever talking to Jonn Losey? What if I leave without ever telling Jonas Vece that I still think about him and wonder how he is? What if I leave without ever makning amends with Sasha Perry? What if I leave without ever telling Matt that Ill always be his friend? What if I go without having the stupid dinner party Ive been planning for months? What if I leave and nobody notices Im gone? 3:33 p.m. - 2002-09-08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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