mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- troubadours Quick question for you: Where in the fuck do I fit into this huge, humiliating mess called humanity? Why, why, why can I not find anywhere to belong? Tonight actually started off alright. I had three different people call me to see if I wanted to spend time with them. Amazing. That never happens. I ended up going to the Fremont Street Experience with Crystal 1 to see this really funny cover band called Boogie Knights. There were people from literally all walks of life there; There were people of all ethnicities and ages, there were bums and businessmen and housewives and grandmas. Cheesy as it may sound, it was wonderful to see everybody happy and dancing. After the show ended, Crystal 1 and I met up with Crystal 2 and John, and we headed over to Reggie's apartment. Bad, bad things. Horrible. Reggie isn't so bad, really. He's funny, and loud, and maybe a little obnoxious. His roommate was nice, too, but very quiet. I just felt so out of place there. I felt like the world's biggest loser. I felt ugly and stupid and dull. I don't think that I said anything remotely interesting/witty/intelligent the whole time we were there. On the car ride home, I nearly started crying. I don't FIT anywhere. Nobody wants me around, and I don't blame them. Yeah, I thought I was past this angsty bullshit, too, but apparently, I'm doomed to be insecure and angry for the rest of my life. Ha. 2:37 a.m. - 2002-09-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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