mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary

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Sugar on the Asphalt

Oh, heartbreak. I am doomed to be rejected forever.

So, he came right out and told me today "not to get too invested" in him. Yeah. Because I have such a self-esteem problem, just like his last girlfriend, and it drives him crazy. I'm smart, pretty, cool, and funny, but apparently, not smart, pretty cool, or funny enough to cancel out that one. big. fucking. flaw.

And the way he told me... Ugh. Humiliation. I literally felt my face turn red. He said it via instant message, which I was grateful for. If he had rejected me in person, I would have probably had one of my weirdo attacks and done something horrible. Like get up and walk out the door, on the spot. No goodbyes. Or I may have responded with hostility. Or maybe I would have cried.

It isn't that I liked him that much, really. I just thought for sure that he liked me, too. The idea that something good could happen was probably what I liked the most.

So much for that.

10:44 a.m. - 2002-10-09

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