mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i was never caught up; now im somehow ahead I have a date tonight, a date with a darling little puppy-dog eyed nineteen year old boy named Nick. I'm not exactly sure why I've been going out on so many dates lately. Normally, I hate people and people hate me, and there is very little unnecessary communication between us. Ah, well, I wanted memories, and I'm getting them, more or less. Just to clarify: I don't completely loathe dating. Yeah, I'm awkward and I talk too much, and yeah, maybe I tend to laugh at the wrong moments, but for the most part, dates aren't so terrible. They do seem a bit pointless, though. Generally, I know right away that the boy in question is not one that I'd like to spend a significant amount of time with. Nick, for example, is kind, fairly intelligent, and alright looking. He dresses like an idiot, but I can overlook that. He writes science fiction stories and poetry, and he welds for a living. He's nice enough, and everything-else enough, but he just isn't for me. I'm listening to Jonah sing "Be Quiet and Drive" right now. If Nick saw me, eyes closed, so lost in words and sound and emotion, I doubt he'd think anything of it. But he wouldn't get it. If he noticed the way I sing during sex, maybe he'd think it was cute or quirky, but he wouldn't understand why I do it. Neither would Josh, Bryant, Noah, or even Zach. Matt would, maybe, but that's a thing of the past. The day I find a boy who will sing me is the day I put all of this dating garbage behind me. For now, I'm going to enjoy making new friends and breaking new hearts. Ha. 1:09 p.m. - 2002-11-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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