mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- some strange machines were beating beats and thumping bass I've been- if you couldn't tell from my last, very mopey entry- a complete mess emotionally, lately. My moodswings have run the gamut, from irritable and quick-tempered to needy and (yeah, I admit it) clingy, back to irritable again, to giddy and giggly, and then depressed and lonely. This morning, I became extremely upset with Crystal because she interrupted my lengthy explanation of REM, and why people remember some dreams and are completely unaware of others. (It's got to do with what part of the REM cycle you're in when... Oh, nevermind.) Yeah, I was actually angry about it... For about five minutes, until my mood abruptly changed again, and then I realized how ridiculous I was acting. (To my credit, she was kind of rude about it, though.) My burst of mega-motivation has been flagging, perhaps due to the crazy variations in my disposition. Remember how I vowed to practice, practice, practice playing my guitar? Well, that lasted for about ten days- I played every single day, for at least an hour at a time, and then BAM! Nothing. I just stopped. Oh, and I still haven't filled out the FAFSA forms- You know, the ones I swore I was going to have completed by the end of last week. All I've wanted to do, for the past several days, is lie down in bed, with my dog and my cat and a bag of Doritos, and listen to Ben Folds while reading a book that I've already read so many times, I've got certain paragraphs memorized. And that's what I did, and what I'm planning to do until I snap out of this funk. 12:57 p.m. - 2003-04-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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