mainsqueeze's Diaryland
Diary
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ineedaletter
So, last night, Crystal and I went to the Huntridge and saw Jonah. Last time I saw him was May of last year, with Matt. Then, it was amazing, and this time, well, it topped amazing and went way up into that place there aren't any words for. Crystal and I arrived early, and we saw  a huge, gorgeous rainbow. Yep, out here in the dry, hot, hothothot desert. And AND as we were waiting in line, we saw Jonah, shuffling through the parking lot in house slippers and swimming trunks. He stopped to talk to some kids a few feet in front of us (and Crystal was pushing at me and telling me to go say hello the whole time) and as he walked away, she turned tome and delightedly whispered, "His toenails were painted!" (And you didn't know this until now, but Crystal and I share a fondness for boys in nail polish. Reminds us of Oz.) So we waited, and we went in, and we watched the opening groups. Not From Here played first, and you know what? I liked 'em. I met Ham, the lead singer, a few years ago when I went to a show at the Ozone- It was "Hardcore Night." I thought hardcore as in punk rock, but it was hardcore as in Metallica (did I spell that right?) and Pantera and fourteen year old girls getting bloody noses in the circle pit. That kind of hardcore. It was a fun night, though. Anyhow, yeah, Ham, Not From Here, good band. Reminded me of Hum, a little bit. Me Without You played next, and yeah, I liked them okay, but Crystal loved them- My cute little cowgirl was rocking out with the best of them, snapping pictures and smiling from up on a high counter. I wandered outside alone, and sat on the groud watching the cars go by, when Josh- Josh of the anonymous note, the one that Crystal chased half-way across a parking lot for me- came up and begin talking to me. I did a whole lot of nervous shuffling and hide-behind-the-hair-ing, but I was glad to see him. I think he's one of the Ones that understand, you know, the Ones you rarely ever meet, and when you do, it's so special and terrific that you never, ever forget them. Josh and I went back in, and Jonah was setting up, putting R2D2 out on his sequin-covered milk crate. And then he played, and it was good, and he was funny, and I forgot about how I wasn't wearing enough black, and how I brush my hair too much, and how my shoelaces didn't coordinate with the color of my shirt, and I closed me eyes and I listened and I smiled. He played "Letter," and I took this picture because when Jonah sings, he seems like he kinda gets lost and can't feel anything besides the sound. I like that, when people get so wrapped into something that they aren't afraid to grimace or grin or scowl- I see so many kids wearing That Look, the bored, half-awake "I don't care" look, like skinny, pale, pretentious automatons. He also played "Aeroplanes," and, in the middle of the song, I looked to my left and saw Matt standing in a crowd of kids, and he saw me. I smiled, and he smiled, and then I mouthed, "I love you," and he did, too. That was the best part of the night, almost.  (This is Jonah singing "Better Than This," I think.) Ooh, and this boy  sat beside Crystal and I when we were outside, talking about how unfashionable and fat and uncool we are. He smiled at her, and when he got up, we both said, "I liked that boy." (And I am aware of how idiotic I sound, yeah, but I don't care. I'm trying to get all the good parts in, here.) He had the eyes, you know, the eyes. After the show ended, I walked to the merchandise booth, and Jonah was there. I handed him my money, and before he could pull his hand away, I kind of grabbed it without thinking and blurted "I'm so glad I could be here tonight." I was nervous, and my hand was sweating, and I must have looked like a big awkward stupid, and Jonah smiled and reached around me and gave me a tight hug. I hugged back, tight, and I said, "I took the day off from work and everything, I really wanted to come, I'm babbling," and he stood back and grinned and kinda chuckled, "I babble too. You saw me up there!" I walked back to Crystal, smiling hugely, and her eyes were wide, and she whispered, "You hugged Jonah!" And I whispered back, "Yeah, I did." I think a big part of the reason people love Jonah so much is how he manages to let you know that you mean something- He cares about what you have to say, and so few people really DO care. I can't think of a way to end this entry, really, I can't at all, but I'll just say that all of those snotty indie kids were showing a whole lot of goodwill and kindness that night, and maybe it'll last for awhile. And you guys, all of you, you mean a lot. Even if sometimes you feel little and useless and stupid, you mean a lot, and someday, you'll know it.
2:13 p.m. - 2003-07-28
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