mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- anything i can do Crystal still hasn't called. This is me, pretending I don't care. I worry that she'll do what she's done in the past, with other friendships- She just lets them go, at the first sign of conflict. I don't need her in my life, but I sure like the way it's been with her in it. Before, I mean. The way it was before she stopped glowing and started glowering. I've let go of a lot of people in my life- that's the way it is, I guess- but I don't want her to become another name on that list. Sigh. I've been a moody girl for the past couple of days. Went out to get breakfast with Matt, Ozzy, and Zach last night, and that put me in a strange state of mind. Sometimes things are so heartbreakingly perfect, like last night, and I feel so full and overjoyed that afterward, when they go, their absence almost hurts. I don't know, I don't know. I wish I could hold on to them, to this, forever. I wish I could always be twenty years old, living in my cruddy little apartment, not worrying about how I'm gonna pay for school and what I'm gonna do with my life. 2:36 p.m. - 2003-08-08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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