mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- here we come Ooooh oooooh. I'm scared. The apartment is nearly empty- I've still got my desk, obviously, and my bed, and a few things scattered here and there on the floor, but the rest of my stuff is piled up in Mom's garage. My whole life, in boxes and garbage bags. Shit. I start school in two days. I want this and I don't want this. I haven't even bought my books yet. I've got a mountain of loose-leaf paper and some binders and pens and white-out, though. I was so excited buying that stuff, too, and pretty soon I'm going to be a student again and the excitement is gone and now I'm just full of apprehension and self-doubt. I'll be fine. I know this. I've been doing a lot of thinking about Las Vegas lately. Maybe I'm never going to find what I need here. Maybe I've got to go somewhere else, travel the country and find someplace golden and warm, plant my seeds there instead of here. And then I think about how ridiculous that sounds- I know it does, that I can't be happy where I am, that I have to go somewhere else. Whatever, man. Whatever. 2:39 p.m. - 2003-09-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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