mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- on yr side like new jersey He answers the phone and I say, hey, hey, where've you been? I say, I called you to wish you a happy birthday on Friday but you weren't home. Deep sigh. I'm thinking maybe his car broke down, maybe he couldn't renew his license after all. My Dad died, he says, and then thirty-thousand lifetimes pass and I'm sure he said "My Granddad," that his Granddad died. He breathes in and repeats himself. My Dad died. Saturday morning. Aneurysm. This man was quiet and still, crazy Andy Warhol hair, tough and gruff and he raised the best goddamned person I've ever met, my Matt, my best friend, the one I'm always gonna love like no one else. All I could think to do was tell him that I loved him, that I loved him so much and that I'd be around for anything he needed. After I hung up that phone I sat down hard on the floor and started crying for a man I didn't know, a man I wanted to know. Matt. Matt Matt Matt. I love you. I will always love you. Know this now. Okay? 2:34 a.m. - 2003-09-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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