mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- you are getting sleepy It's been a dirty, dirty day, the kind where something inside of me is making me feel filthy. Yeah. I can't explain it-- maybe some of you have felt it-- but it's kind of like being in the center of a crowded room and realizing that, I don't know, you forgot to brush your teeth that morning. That's how I feel, like I forgot to do something important and the end result is a stinking, sweating, disheveled me. Jeromy's brother in law is a certified hypnotherapist. I had no idea there were even schools for such things; I'd assumed it was passed on from carnie dad to carnie kid, but apparently, I was wrong. (Much like the time I told Jeromy's brother, the masseuse, that I thought all "massage therapists" were hippies who walked around without shoes, and that masseuse schools taught about goofy shit like aromatherapy and astrology and chakras. I was right about the aromatherapy and the chakras, but they also have to memorize the specific functions of each part of the brain and other very, very complicated things.) Anyhow, brother in law: He loaned me a book on self-hypnosis (since I declined his offer to hypnotize me on the spot) and since reading it, I have actually managed to hypnotize myself. I was lying in bed last night, performing one of the techniques recommended by the book (I chose to walk down a staircase while counting my steps rather that visualize a sunny beach) and before I knew it, I was in a trance. Yes, I am completely aware of how absolutely hokey that sounds, but that's the only way to describe it. It was like I... lost time. It wasn't like sleeping, exactly-- more like this stupid, dangerous game my friends and I would play. One of us would make ourselves hyperventilate, while another applied pressure to our neck, cutting off the blood supply. We would, of course, pass out, and while we were out-- usually a matter of seconds-- we would have very fast yet very complete dreams. This was like that, except I was completely aware of everything around me, and there were no dreams. There was, however, an absence of awareness of time. I still have no idea how long I remained in my trace. When I opened my eyes, I felt very relaxed and peaceful, weightless almost. I'm going to practice more often-- I used to meditate a lot-- and hope that maybe it can serve as a stress-reliever, at the least. Today was Jeromy's birthday. I bought him a watch, a few new books, and a miniature herb garden. There was also an hour or so of sappy, disgusting "IloveyouIloveyoutoo" talk, but I'll skip that. 3:43 a.m. - 2004-02-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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