mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- shaky sigh and reminisce and tip this drink to you This song, the one I've got playing right now, reminds me of Back Then. Back Then, back, back, back. It wasn't a long time ago-- maybe a year, if even-- but it feels like it's been forever. It's funny, how much change occurs when you're this age. There I was, thinking I was a Big Deal, done growing and done learning and done changing, but look at me now. Completely different. It's just... strange. In Slaughterhouse Five, Billy Pilgrim describes the way the Tralfamadorians see life as a ring rather than a straight line-- he says that life is just like a string of pearls, so that when we die, we aren't really dead, we're alive in every moment we've ever lived. It goes on forever and ever so that right now, I'm twenty, but somewhere further along the strand, a sixty year-old me is maybe folding laundry and then beyond that, a six year-old me is playing in the treehouse back in Walled Lake. Where was I going with this? Change, right? I was talking about changing? I've come to the conclusion that I'll-- we'll-- always be changing. And that's a good thing. Two things I found online today: There is another mainsqueeze out there, but this one is about fifteen or so and she loves Britney Spears and boys and shitty movies and music. And she sprinkles her entries with unnecessary apostrophes. Variety makes the world go round. Right? AND. That literary magazine that my instructor convinced me to submit to last semester is going to press this week, and my name is listed on the website. Me, right there with the college professors and English majors and various interesting people. Me. Mind-boggling. It made me happy. Frances. Lighter lit. Cigarette smoking. Big fat goofy smile, and I'm facing East. Okay? Okay. 2:36 a.m. - 2004-03-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||