mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- right back where we started from Heya Matt, long-lost dearest friend. Nice to finally talk to you-- I've missed you, bud. Assumed you've been busy with Carrie, Keeghan, family, work, etc.. Seems we both have full (over-loaded, really) plates lately. Same with Crystal and I. Too much to do, too little time left over for friends. No hard feelings, though. I know how it is. So, in one month, I finally will have caught up to you. Yes, I will be twenty-one, able to get shit-faced drunk, irritating, and emotionally-unstable... And in public! It's so cliched, I know, but fuck, time moves so fast. Twenty-one. What's next for me? Who knows. Remember how I told you about my submission to that lit mag? It's going to press this week. It's still hard for me to grasp the idea that somebody out there might want to read something I've written. It's a nice feeling, a feeling of satisfaction and achievement. Nice. I fucking miss you. There are a million times every day where something small and insignificant happens, and all I can think is how much I want to call you and share it with you. You my Matt, through space and time and everything else that can come between two people. I don't sweat the distance. It doesn't mean shit when it comes to you and I. We're lucky for that. Things are going good with Jeromy and I. Man, I love him. And he loves me, too, wholly and unselfishly. This is so different from anything I've had before-- he isn't just a boyfriend, he's family, he and Katelynne. This business with his ex is enough to make me yank out my hair. I don't get it. I just don't. I don't understand what she's gaining by keeping her daughter away from her father. What kind of person does that? I miss the kid. I didn't think I would-- almost hoped I wouldn't, but I do. I miss the way she wakes up in the morning and starts jumping on the bed to wake me up, too. I miss watching her dance around in her pjs in front of the television, and combing her hair, and dressing her, and reading to her, and watching her play with the dogs. This is what you warned me about, attaching myself to this kid. She isn't mine, and I know that, I really do, but some part of me feels responsible for her. I want to teach her new things and watch her do them for herself. What kind of person denies her child the right to see people that love her? I hope I never know how to answer that question. So, what's going on with you and Carrie? Good stuff, I hope. I know you two have been working hard to solve the problems you've had in the past, and I salute you for that. Both of you. I wish I could find some way to get on better terms with Carrie. I know what it's like to feel excluded and unliked, and I'm sorry if I ever made her feel that way. Make sure she knows that, okay? I really should get ready for work now-- 530 to 130, today. If you get this e-mail in time, give me a call tonight. I'm not supposed to get personal phone calls, but nobody is around much after 10 or so, so if you have a chance, ring me. 5******, ext.239. I'll be there. Love you, love Keeghan. --Angela 2:59 p.m. - 2004-03-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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