mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Matt's Birthday Look: I am drinking tap water (ew) and listening to the Beta Band and contemplating the whos and whats and whys of right here and right now.
Earlier tonight, I was talking with Kevin about relationships and how I always fuck them up, and how I don't want anymore ever. Oh, and how I'm fucking terrified that I'll never, ever be in a decent one because I'm defective. He said that I should just "hang out," for now, meaning I should relax and have fun and not worry about being old and alone. Easier said than done. I'm trying. I am. Oh, and my list? Fuck my list. I summarized it rather nicely during our conversation, everything that matters even a little bit: "I just want to, I don't know, to be able to look at the person I'm with after a year or ten years or fifteen years and think about how lucky I am and how amazing they are." And that is all that I want. And I can wait. Oh yeah. MATT. I know you're reading this. Remember what I told you in the car earlier tonight. Anything, buddy, for you, I will do anything. To this very day, I still cannot get over how absolutely fantastic it is that the fates decided to throw us together. I love you. Happy 22nd birthday, Matthew, my darling. -Angela ps. I will never pull an Amy. I swear. 1:36 a.m. - 2004-09-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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