mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- like they handed me my life Jeromy just left my house with his things in plastic shopping bags. It was heartbreaking to watch him go. He said he still loves me, but he won't beg me to stay with him. It was so easy to recall all of the crappiest parts of our relationship when he wasn't here, when I was trying to think of what I was going to say, but when he walked through the door and he looked at me with glassy eyes and I knew that he knew, it was like a blow to the stomach. God, I wish it could have been different. I wish it could have worked. I have to take time for myself, to figure out what I want and what I need, and if Jeromy or anyone else is part of the equation. This hurts. This really fucking hurts. When I started dating Jeromy, I wrote a list of ways to make love stay, to keep things good. None of them worked. Love never stays, does it? Things always get bad; You get lazy and you stop trying and you stop caring and then, finally, you forget that there was ever love there at all. That happened with us. We both stopped trying, eventually. I want Jeromy to be happy. I want to be happy again, too. 1:15 a.m. - 2004-09-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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