mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ecstatic This entry is coming to you from my Mom's sweltering office/laundry room. Sister broke her leg this morning and so I am spending the night here with her so she doesn't have to go to the babysitter's house while she feels so utterly crappy. I do love my Mother's house, all of the comfy seating and low lighting and pretty things everywhere and the dogs and, of course, my fantastic family. It is impossible to be uncomfortable here, unless, of course, you have a major problem with dog hair and cigarette smoke, in which case you would most definitely not be comfortable. Ahem. Yes. Rambling Angela. This is the first night in about four days that I haven't been incredibly drunk by midnight. Last night was pizza, rum, and Sealab with friend Kevin, night before that was Crystal's birthday party (at which I met an adorable punk-rocker named Dave and Matt's glorious friend Cody) and then the night before that began with me asking a friend for a ride home from work and sitting and the bar drinking and flirting with co-workers until 4:30 in the morning instead of going to bed like I should have. I need to slow down a bit, I think. I need to be able to interact with other people without being drunk/buzzed/nearly incapable of standing up. I have learned something vital over the past few weeks, something that eluded me for a long time: There really are things to like about me, and people really do enjoy my company, at least most of them. Or some of them. But my point is, meeting new people and talking with them and making them laugh and hugging them and letting them know that I care and that I want to get to know them better? Not as hard as I used to make it. This excites me. I attribute it, at least in part, to my new wise and wonderful pal Kevin, who is not afraid of being vulnerable and open and honest. I was so terrified, for the longest time, but now I'm not. Its like Erika, her bold, courageous way of walking into a room: She gave me strength just by being who she was and doing what she did. Kevin is like that, too. More rambling. Sorry. My sister is sleeping on the sofa in the other room with the dogs huddled around her, protecting her. Her leg is in a "soft cast," which basically means that it is tightly wrapped in a mile of bandages. She has the blanket pulled up over her face and her arm is around her puppy. I am so fucking full, right now, of the best feelings, of pure, intense love for another human being, for all human beings. I am pretty sure that this is one of those moments that I will remember forever, a moment of complete happiness. 1:28 a.m. - 2004-09-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||