mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary

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I Love You, X.

Hey-- I love you, but I've got to tell you something: This has to stop. I don't know how you've lived a double-life for so long; I've been at it for a month and I'm already exhausted, tired of dodging phone calls, creating elaborate stories about where you might be and who you might be with. I love you, but through all of this, I've seen a side of you that is fucking scary. You're looking for something, I know-- we all are-- but while you're searching, you're stepping all over the people who love you. One thing that I had always valued most about you was how honest and sincere you were, but lately you've been building this tower of lies that gets bigger and bigger every day, and even though I don't think you're lying to me, I have to wonder-- I know you love him, and you lie to him worst of all, so what does that leave me with? Can you understand how I have to wonder? I want you to know that I'm worried about you-- I'm woried about what's going to happen if you keep on living this way. I'll always love you, but I'm begging you-- Please stop this craziness and let's get back to being the girls we used to be.

12:55 p.m. - 2005-07-02

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