mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Somethin Wrong With Me Three-fifteen in the fucking morning and Erin will be here in exactly 8 hours so that we can embark on a birthday shopping expedition. I should be sleeping right now but the past month or so has been exceptionally writey and so I'm gonna do that, gonna write. Been talking to the Long Lost again, the body and brain I know almost as well as my own. I told him about all of the things I can't tell anybody else about. Feels like home. The Ed was in a funk and I wished so fucking hard I could snap my fingers and make him happy but I guess it doesn't work like that. After Nik I decided that everybody I loved would always know I cared but some things can't be healed with affection, like brothers that died too young and guilt and self-hate. I told him the other day that I imagined he just sat around all day thinking of things to deny himself, ways too make his own life less fun. Also, today was Fight with Ethan Day and Get Lectured by Boss Day and Hate My Job Day but I walked the dogs and listened to some good music and now I feel alright again. Until tomorrow. Counting down to New Life. 1:08 a.m. - 2002-01-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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