mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary

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born at nine and dead at noon

What I wanted to say that morning
but didn't
was that I understand why you made your choices
and that I understand how nice it would be
to have that warm thing to go back to over and over
even if it was the same kind of warm
as the breath of a beast about to rip you to shreds
and how broken your heart must have been
when you learned that you could never be me
even if you bought the same perfume
or read the same books
or fucked the same guys
when you learned that modeling yourself after a woman
doesn't mean that you will have her strengths or her weakenesses,
but you will keep your own,
your blind desire to find happily-ever-after somewhere, anywhere
in a boy who never loved you,
or one who never called you
or one who is just as empty as you
So what I wanted to say that morning was
the past is the past
and I am alive right now
so let's put our history to bed
because I may not like you, and I may not think much of you anymore
but I would be more than happy
to take your fucking money like
everyone else's.

Here's your return shot. Ha. Have fun getting your ass beat and being bitter because no matter how much I let you take, I would never let you take my identity.

10:44 p.m. - 2006-11-16

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