mainsqueeze's Diaryland
Diary
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Feliz dia de Gracia
At this time yesterday I was walking on clouds because Dustin and I had a short conversation after class, and he tried to make me laugh, and he succeeded. At 10pm last night I was on my way out with some amazing friends to eat and drink (and drink and drink) for eight hours, until I crawled into bed happy and exhausted.
And then-- you knw the drill, you know how it works-- at work this morning I got the news that my friend Damien was killed in a car accident on Wednesday morning. And then I had to shut the office door and sit for a minute to catch my breath, because this boy, two years older than me with a wide, sexy smile and thick brown hair and gorgeous clear wide awake brown eyes, he was gone, you know? Once he gave me a ride home and when I discovered that I didn't have my housekey, he helped me break in through my own window. I later found the key wedged in my bra, smashed in my armpit where I somehow failed to feel it. Our friend Martin told me that Damien had a crush on me and it made me feel pretty good, because even though we had nothing in common he was smart and gorgeous and incredibly sweet and giving. His Dad is this fragile-looking white-haired dice dealer who looks like he's going to break in two, anyway, without his son being burned alive on the freeway. My heart is broken on his behalf, that every Thanksgiving for the rest of his life will remind him of his boy, his boy who took care of him when he had stomach cancer and who loved his parents with all of his heart. We lost someone really special yesterday morning.
I cried at the Thanksgiving toast tonight, and I never cry in front of my family. I cried because I never cry enough and because they are the only people worth crying over, really. Love em enough to cry. Cause this world really seems to eat all of the good ones, you know?
9:05 p.m. - 2006-11-23
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