mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Queen of Sabotage I can't sleep. Yes, it is 730am, and I have not been to bed. Well, I have been to bed, actually, but sleep? Nope. Instead, my brain decided to think about Michigan, about school, about all the things I have to do, about missing my Mom and my sister, about being away from home, about what I'm going to do for money once I get there, about whether or not my Dad will come take care of me like my Mom does if I get sick, about how lame it is that I'm a 23 year old woman who still wants her Mommy to take care of her... Bah. I wonder if I fucked up by making such a grand gesture, by deciding to go far, far away instead of staying here. I'm so scared. I want it to not hurt to think of being a thousand miles away from my Mom and my sister. I want to be tough enough and grown up enough to handle that. And what if something happens while I'm gone? What if I'm not here to protect them and something happens? What if they need me? See? Self-sabotage. Call me highness, please. 7:48 a.m. - 2007-01-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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