mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary

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Pink Rabbits

Oh, what a day, what a fucking day. I am bone-tired and stretched tight, you know? I want to sleep for ten hours, for as long as I possibly can but I know that if I try to go to bed I will stay awake staring at the ceiling and thinking about all of the miserable, horrible shit that happened tonight and sleep will not come. There are days when I love my job and then there are days like today where I am convinced that a trained ape in a blouse and slacks could have just as much of an impact as I do. Damnit, I am smart and fast and honest so why oh why oh why do I have such a hard time with this stupid goddamn job?
The thing is, I have half-assed this job for a long time and nobody has noticed. Nobody has caught on. I have spent hundreds of hours talking on my phone and reading in the office and I even took two naps on very slow nights. I justify this by reminding myself of the other hundreds of hours that I worked for free and without breaks and with every ounce of energy in my body but I should probably just find a balance.
Hmm. That's the second time is as many days that I've said that I need to find a balance. Maybe I just need to find a NEW JOB.

1:41 a.m. - 2007-03-17

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