mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- long goodbyes Dan and I have said our goodbyes. Two tiny hours left and he will be miles above my head, flying back home, back to where his real life awaits. He wasn't mine but he felt like it. And yes, I cried, first at work and then with my face pressed into his chest and then in the car after I said goodbye. I am not crying now. I have said a lot of goodbyes in my life. They never get any easier. I thought about it on the drive home and found myself smiling because I made it out of this okay. It hurts right now, yeah, and I wish--you have no idea how I wish--that Dan could have stayed and been mine, MY Dan, to keep as long as I wanted, but it was good. It stopped right at that point where everything still felt like magic. Hey, Dan? I couldn't say it last night, still have a hard time with that whole opening up thing, but I think it hurt me like it did because you could very well be the closest thing to perfect I have ever found. And maybe our paths will cross again and maybe they won't, and maybe I'll find somebody as good as you someday or maybe I won't but I am not going to cry, okay? I am going to walk into work today and say, like I say everyday, "This is gonna be a really good day, guys," because I was lucky enough to find you and have you and lose you, and that's more than I had before. Daniel, thank you for everything. 1:12 p.m. - 2007-05-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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