mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- New Year 2008. The little date bar above the entry window says "2008." Dig it. Crazy. 2007 was a good year, a really, really good year. I finally (well, kinda sorta) because a real-live grown up and started driving, which is awesome because now I can do things like GO GROCERY SHOPPING (super-sucks without a car, by the way) but is terrifying because I have the attention span of a three year old and have been known to multi-task while driving, obsessively change songs/cds, check text messages, and so on. Christ. It is a fucking miracle I haven't wrapped myself around a pole yet. Oh, and that word, by the way, "Christ," caused me a whole shitload of trouble at work the other day because my stick-up-the-ass coworker doesn't say "JC." She got this smarmy little smirk of superiority when she informed me of that, too. Whore. Anyway, let's not talk about my crappy, soul-sucking, miserable job. Really. Let's fucking not. Anyway, started driving, met Matt, which was, woah, dude... wonderful. The "JC" girl (or one of her little cronies, those bitches are like that troupe of arrogant sluts in "Mean Girls" except for wayyyyyyyyyy less attractive, but still totally interchangeable) made a remark about how I talk about Matt "ALL THE TIME," the other day, and I got a little defensive because yeah, I do, I do it in here, too, but I don't force anyone to listen to me or read what I write so fuck off if you don't like it. I talk about Matt all the time because I see him every single day, when I wake up, when I get home from work, before I go to bed, and a whole chunk of time in between. When shit happens to me or around me, Matt is usually there, too. If I tell my coworker a funny story, odds are it will be one where Matt is mentioned because I have seen him EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR SIX MONTHS. I wanted to call her out for being a mean-spirited whore when she said that but instead I decided to convince myself that she was just jealous because she is a mean, boring twat and NOBODY WILL EVER LOVE HER, EVERRRRR. It's working all right so far, thanks. Anyway, after the Big Dan Break-Up of May, I was more or less a wreck for quite awhile--with me, any emotion that remains for more than a few hours is "awhile"-- I dated Brent and goddamn am I glad I didn't stay on that road. I do miss Ethan from time to time, but ummm... no. Didn't work. Was painful and unfulfilling. We're still friends but I think he has a hard time when he hears me say anything about Matt, which I apparently do nonstop so we don't see each other much these days. I started talking to my former best friend, Crystal, after a year of oh-so-stony silence, and while things are definitely not the same as they used to be, not carrying around a ton of hateful baggage is nice. I think that 2008 is going to be a good one, too. I hope upon hope, anyhow. 12:48 a.m. - 2008-01-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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