mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary

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Day One

Day One

Step One: Have a friend over for a movie, preferably a romance of some sort. Romantic comedies are not recommended, because they suck and will make you feel worse. You are watching a romance because at the touching, sweet parts, you can look back and think, "God, my ex NEVER did things that sweet. He NEVER said things so poignant and deep. He NEVER did ANY OF THAT!" Trust me, it helps.
Step Two: Clean your house from top to bottom. It is referred to in some circles as "crackhead cleaning." Crackhead clean your house. Pull any remaining strands of his hair from your comb. You may burn them if you wish, and probably WILL wish. Angrily throw his things about before stuffing them into garbage bags and piling them in the corner like lumpy, misshapen, wretched dismembered corpses of furious burning hatred.
Step Three: Cry. Feel stupid for crying. Kick the blues by thinking not of your lingering, unrequited love, but of all of the reasons you have to be insanely irate. Angrily throw things again.
Step Four: Watch Diary of a Mad Black Woman. You don't have to be a black woman to appreciate Diary of a Mad Black Woman. Wish your beloved ex was incapacitated so you could dump his ass in a freezing cold bathtub and let him soak in his own shit.
Step Five: Regret. Wonder if maybe things will change. Wonder if he still loves you, if these things just take time, if someday he will be well again and he will appreciate all that you did for him. Ask yourself how you became so bitter and hateful, so angry, how you let yourself love somebody who didn't love you back and how you let yourself love him so much.
Step Six: Go back to the angry throwing. It feels a lot better than the alternative.

12:19 a.m. - 2009-05-03

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