mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - I am sure that when my son is born, none of this will matter, but I have to say right now that being pregnant is hard. Super hard. I haven't had any of the typical pregnancy stuff like morning sickness or insane cravings, but I am really, REALLY tired, very moody, and for the first two, two and a half months Chris smelled so strongly of garlic that I stopped letting him kiss me. My sense of smell is back to normal but I am still hyper emotional and I also feel disgustingly fat and unfeminine, which is really silly considering. I started sobbing for no good reason today while I was driving home from work. Emotional wreck. I am terrified of being left. I didn't realize how scared I was until I put myself in this position and thought about how hard it is for single parents and how much I am changing physically and emotionally and it just leaves me wondering how the hell anybody could possibly deal with me, let alone love me. I've been so up and down, alternately tough and confident and then small and nervous and insecure. I never know what is coming next. In spite of the not knowing, I am happy to be here, with Chris, with this incredible life growing inside me... nuts. 11:09 p.m. - 2010-12-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||