mainsqueeze's Diaryland
Diary
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
Score! I was just thinking to myself that I would really like a beer, one beer, and a few minutes to write. Baby is asleep. Homework is (kind of, half-assedly) done, and I located one bottle of Stella in the crisper of my fridge. Little things make me happy these days.
I have officially been out of work for one week and three days and I am starting my new job on Tuesday. I was kind of hoping for a longer gap between jobs to spend some time at home, Get Some Shit Done and yes that is capitalized because I felt like it needed it, and relax. I feel like an asshole for wanting a longer period of unemployment, as word is that people everywhere are still fighting for jobs, but only a little. Leaving work on my last day was a tiny bit sadder than I had expected. My former employees teamed up and bought me a bouquet of flowers, some balloons, a card, and candy. One lady, one of my favorite people, pressed a little glass Buddha and a $20 into my hand and said she would miss me. That one made me tear up. I have no idea why she gave me the $20 but it was such a sweet gesture I almost regretted my decision. Almost. And then I walked to the garage and got into my car and drove away and screamed WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO! once the place was in my rearview mirror.
I am excited about trying to recapture the things I have lost over the years I have spent working in casinos, working such long hours, being told to belong, just belong, damnit, network, rub elbows, wear better shoes, blah blah blah. It was never me but it came close near the end. I mean, it just became so ingrained that I started to act the role at home, with my family and friends. I don't want to be a boss. I don't want to network. I don't want people looking at my hair or my clothes or my lack of makeup and making assumptions about my capabilities anymore. It is done. Book slammed shut.
My baby has not felt well lately. Back on June 11th he was just a set of limbs somersaulting inside of my abdomen and then on June 12th he was a screaming, eating, sleeping lump and now he is a bonafied human being who laughs and babbles and rolls over and is growing teeth. Teeth! I made something that grows its own teeth! He has two pressing up now, one on either side of the bottom, and he likes to ease his discomfort by yelling at his mother or by sticking everything in his mouth. I hold his hand and he pulls my whole arm over so he can chomp down on my knuckle.
Soon, he will be sitting up and then crawling and then walking and then moving out for college. Time really does seem to go faster now.
11:39 p.m. - 2011-10-09
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
previous - next
|
|
|
|
|
|