mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary

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Candlelight

Drinking is becoming less of an occasional sin and more of an emotional crutch.

I see now how people develop alcoholism.

Its unfortunate that the person I live with is the one person in the world who depresses me more than anything else. Being around Zach is like painting a bull's eye across the left half of my chest and walking into a dense forest in the middle of spring wearing a brown sweater.

Hes always got something negative to say.

I wonder if he still loves me at all, or if he has any clue how I feel about him.

I guess its not all his fault that were falling apart like we are.

I could try harder to be attractive to him. I could stop wearing the same old ratty sneakers, I could go on a diet and lose some weight, I could go get a tan, or something.

Somehow I doubt that either of us would feel much better, even if I turned into a slender, well-dressed, bronzed nymphet.

In fact, Im sure of it.

I wish I knew what would make us feel better, though.

4:56 p.m. - 2002-03-19

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