mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary

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Stoic

I spent approximately 1/20th of my night hiding in a bathroom stall like a little bitch.

I went to see Mullholland Drive at the Castle, and immediately upon arrival, I started having palpitations.

I know, I am fucking lame.

It isn't my fault, though.

Serious, I thought I was going to have a heart attack, or worse, spontaneously combust. I was really, really nervous, and I don't know why.

I finally caught a glimpse of Barry, a fellow diarist- I spent one night last month reading all of his entries at once, and I was inexplicably intrigued. I almost said hi, but, of course, that would have doubled the chances of me pissing in my pants, so I didn't. Plus, he had some hot babe with him.

When stupid loser jerks Mercury Sky came on, I called Zach and begged for him to come and pick me up. I had to buy him a banana split, but it was completely worth it. I hate taking cabs.

I caught myself leaning my head on his chest more than once, and I felt like a wimp for it.

He stayed very composed, didn't reach for my hand once, didn't touch me or kiss me or give any sort of indication that we used to date.

I should be glad for that, but I actually felt kind of sad.

I wish I could have kept the good parts of our relationship, and thrown the rest away.

However, aside from my momentary lapse in stoicism, I had a great night.

And I WILL say hi to him, next time.

11:31 p.m. - 2002-05-24

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