mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fire Door- Never Leave Open Matt and I are friends again. Life already feels better. He came over yesterday, and although I tried like hell to contain it, I ended up hugging him as tight as I could. He squeezed back, and it felt terrific. We sat in my living room, and listened to Jonah for awhile, not talking. I dont think I have ever felt as relieved in my life as I did when he showed up at my door. Oh yes, I did something very stupid tonight: I had sex with Zach. He was considerably rougher than he was when we were dating, and he seems to have developed a fascination with anuses. Of course, it was nice- Any sex is nice-But I felt completely detatched. When we were together before, I would think about how wonderful he was, and how much I loved him. This time, I wasn't really thinking of anything at all. When I was talking with Matt yesterday, I said something that I have been repeating to myself all day. "I dont need a boyfriend to love right now; I just need a lot of friends." I am going to work on that tomorrow. 1:41 a.m. - 2002-06-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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