mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary

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Summertime

My rent is due in three days, and I dont even have a money order for it yet. Ditto with the phone and power bills.

Ah, well. I try not to get stressed out over dumb stuff like having a place to live, and electricity.

I got to talk to Tommy tonight. He is really, really nice, and funny. Well-spoken. Intelligent.

We are making plans for him to visit next month. I am very excited, but also incredibly nervous. Im not good with meeting new people, I guess you could say. I stutter, and blush, and I sweat and breathe hard- Im a mess. Ive been known to abruptly get up and leave a restaurant in the middle of a conversation to go to the bathroom to calm down. Of course, it's funny when I look back on it, but while its happening I feel like I am going to explode into a million, flubbery pieces.

Blech.

Its probably such a major turn-off for most people, to watch me have a freak-out attack.

Oh, guess who hasn't called yet. Yes, that despicable bastard Matt stil refuses to speak with me. I am trying not to worry about it that much, but its tough. He takes up so much space in my life that whenever he's not around, I feel incomplete. Nobody needs a "friend" who treats them like a burden, but its still hard to let them out of your life when you care as much as I do.

Thats just how things are, I guess.

It may be hard, but we all go through it sometime, and we always come out okay.

Myself included.

11:49 p.m. - 2002-06-28

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