mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- say hello to the ground You know what I need? I need a vacation. I suppose (alright, I KNOW) I don't lead the most stressful life- I'm single, my bills aren't that much, and I usually only work three or four days a week. I have plenty of spare time, truckloads of it. I think, maybe I need to stop living so irresponsibly. THAT'S what I need a vacation from. Yeah, I'm always relaxed and fairly cheerful, but there isn't any sense of purpose to my life. Maybe I'll enroll in a few classes next semester, start using my brain again. This aimless drifting isn't as fun as I thought it'd be. (Aimless drifting- Is that redundant? Molly?) This morning, I fainted at work. I was in the bathroom, washing my hands one second, and the next, I was sitting on the floor wondering what the hell had happened. Everyone was clucking and fussing over me, and I felt so, so stupid. (I didn't tell them that the reason I fainted was because I was seeing how long I could hold my breath. I don't know why I do things like that.) Anyhow, my head has been aching and throbbing ever since. I think I'm brain-damaged. Stupid, stupid girl. My semi-sort-of-maybe-maybe-not relationship with Jack is starting to sour a little bit. He's always so BUSY. I've only seen him a handful of times in the past month, and nearly every time, I was the one who made the effort, not him. Yeah, he's wonderful and funny, kind, and intelligent, but he's starting to piss me off a little bit. I understand that he has a lot on his plate (he has sole custody of his son, a full time work schedule, and he takes classes at CCSN) but I'm starting to feel used. Ah, well. Que sera, sera. I'm off, now, to wash my filthy body and get ready for one more shift at my meaningless, unsatisfying job. Should be a fun night. 9:32 p.m. - 2003-01-08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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