mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- got it broke Things are dangerously calm now. This is the kind of quiet and sense of peace that is always, almost always, followed by a horribly bleak period. I'm worried for myself. Crystal- beautiful, sarcastic, tall, strong Crystal- wants nothing that I can give her lately. Things aren't flowing like they used to flow- There are tense silences, here and there, and we don't laugh near as often as we used to. Do all friendships come to this eventually? All she wants to do anymore is talk about Matt, and about what she'd rather be doing. I feel useless and stupid around her sometimes, because I know that she's getting tired of me. I don't have anything left to offer her, and I can't make anything any better. Things aren't going so well with Jack, either. I guess they aren't really going at all. He doesn't call every night anymore, and I haven't seen him at all this month. When he does call, I can't help but think that maybe we've talked about everything that two people could possibly talk about, that maybe there isn't anything left to say or ask. I wish I knew what everyone wants from me. I have the feeling that I'm leaving them all very disappointed. 3:58 a.m. - 2003-01-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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