mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- waiting on you The semi-sort-of-not-really thing with Joe is now a definite not-at-all. He's a really nice guy, and fun, and attractive, but he isn't for me. It hit me earlier tonight, when we were taking the bus home from the bowling alley. There was a boy in the seat behind us, curly hair, baseball cap, reading Wizard. I turned around, and asked him if that was the newest issue, and if I could look at it. He agreed, but told me that he was going to be getting off at the next stop. We spoke for a moment, both of us smiling and looking into each other's eyes, and then the bus stopped. He got up and walked to the door, looked back at me, and then at Joe, and back to me, and he smiled shyly and said, "Well, um, I guess, um, bye." Man. I looked at Joe, with his perfectly clean skate shoes, and his spiked bracelet, and I realized how much I wanted to get off the bus and run after the curly-haired boy in the flannel shirt and basball cap. I do like Joe, I do, but not as much as he deserves. I've got to stop selling myself short the way I do. I mean, do I really want to be with a guy who thinks that saying the word "poop" is considered a one-liner? I want a boy who can discuss Vonnegut with me, one who doesn't lump Lord of the Rings in with Harry Potter because the movies were in theaters around the same time. I want a boy who has at least one Nirvana tee-shirt, and who understands what I mean when I say that the latest, previously unreleased tracks sound way ahead of their time. I want a boy who doesn't pretend to like my dog just so he'll score brownie points. I want a boy who cries at a good movie, and afterward, sits in silence for a moment before saying, quietly, "wow." At last, but by no means least, I want a boy who never fails to surprise me with the things he says and does, and with his reactions to the things I say and do. And yeah, I guess I'm willing to wait. 1:19 a.m. - 2003-04-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||