mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- you can keep your time to yourself... The panty-sniffers who love my diary so have new competition for the rights to Creep Me Out the Most. Yeah, that's right- Now I'm being googled- daily, mind you- by people looking to buy ADEROL illegally. Oh, and I've also had a few visitors seeking the School Slut, but not half as many as the prescription-drug abusers. Funny, huh? Especially when you consider the fact that I'm celibate and completely drug free. Myohmyohmy. It's strange how incorporating art back into my life has changed the way I view and feel about most things. I don't hate myself nearly as much when I look at one of my silly, black-on-white (why do I have a feeling that I'll be googled for that phrase?) sketches. There's a tremendous sense of accomplishment- Yeah, I'm twenty years old, and I have a shitty job and no education, and I'm pretty lonely, and I'm poor, but I have a big book full of pictures and words. I have SOMETHING. It feels good, you know? Big crush on a boy at work. He's small and pale, and shy. Oh, and when he's around, my stomach caves in on itself, and I cannot speak. I'll bet it's strange for him, watching a girl who is normally very talkative and cheerful and seemingly self-confident turn into a babbling, stuttering, hand-wringing mess just because he's in the room. Unfortunately, he's seeing somebody. After much asking around, I learned that: She is at least twelve years older than he is, and she has an eleven year old daughter; I am much prettier than she is; She is overbearing, and she bosses him around; She has a body like a Barbie doll (not happy about this piece of information); And and and SHE IS STILL MARRIED. TO A CRAZY MAN. See? He should go for me. Less baggage. I like imagining the two of us locking ourselves in the apartment for days on end, lying in bed and talking, playing music together, sitting in silence. He's definitely the kind of boy that I could hole up with. 8:24 p.m. - 2003-04-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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