mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary

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Birthday Hijinks

What a week, guys. What a fucking week. Because I am feeling much too lazy to actually compose paragraphs right now, you'll just have to settle for a numbered rundown.

1) The trip to CA to see Ben Folds, Sonic Youth, and Badly Drawn Boy fell through, due to Crystal's friend Holly visiting from out of state the week of my birthday. Initially, I was furious that Holly hadn't consulted Crystal before purchasing her ticket, but I eventually got over it. Mostly.

2) Two days before my birthday, I decided that I'd rather have a Huge Fucking Party than the Intimate Gathering I had been planning. I hastily issued verbal invitations to approximately 40 people approximately 24 hours before said party was scheduled. Fifteen showed up.

3) Of the fifteen party attendees, one passed out at nine-thirty, one spent three hours vomiting over my balcony, and five didn't show up until after midnight. I was too busy showing people my breasts and reading poetry aloud to care.

4) The following day, Mom, Lise and I went to dinner at TGI Friday's, which is my least favorite restaurant in the entire world. Our waiter, an overly-enthusiastic, bad-joke-cracking, mustachioed fellow named Todd, not only forgot to refill my coffee, but also told my NINE YEAR OLD sister that "he doesn't bite, unless you want him to." Har har. I almost slugged him for that. The evening ended with ten ridiculously cheerful, energetic food servers singing me a very LOUD rendition of "Happy Birthday," while I sat in the corner looking terrified and staring deep into my empty coffee cup.

Conclusion: Next year, the Intimate Gathering will win out over the Huge Fucking Party. Oh, andI'm never going to TGI Friday's ever again.

11:45 a.m. - 2003-04-29

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