mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Foot on the Gas Have I ever mentioned that I do not know how to drive? Well, I don't. I get around on the bus and on my bike and on the goodwill of friends. And, really, I'm pretty sure I don't want to learn to drive anymore, anyway. Crystal and Jeff took me for a quick lesson tonight, with Crystal clucking and muttering "Oh Jesus" under her breath in the back seat the whole time. Because, you know, it isn't scary enough to have complete control over the movement of a two ton hunk of metal and plastic without somebody practically saying Hail Marys eighteen inches from the back of your head. I drove for twenty minutes or so, without incident- I even PARKED, I PARKED!- and then, I got confused and pushed the gas instead of the brake and we went rocketing toward a cement parking divider. I stopped just before the front end of the car slammed into the huge, concrete slab, and Crystal immediately screamed "STOP THE GODDAMN CAR, NOW!" I did, of course, and she shakily climbed out of the backseat and said, "You did really good, sweetie," and she tried to hug me, and I was so frustrated I responded, "Do not fucking touch me." Of course, I felt awful for saying such a mean thing as soon as I said it, but I was so MAD. It always surprises me how nonchalant people are about driving- It's serious business, man. Yeah, I get a little bit nervous when I'm behind the wheel of a machine that has the power to plow through the side of a house, okay? It's scary. It's a gigantic piece of welded metal and plastic and glass and it can HURT people. I don't take driving lightly. I was angry with Crystal because instead of talking to me like a semi-intelligent, responsible human being, she way yelling things like "Brake!" and "Turn on the blinker!" and "Speed up! The limit is forty-five!" Driving is stressful for me, as it is- I don't need somebody hollering commands at me while I try desperately to hold on to my composure. I think, guys, that I'm just gonna give up. I'll just start telling everyone that I'm an environmentalist. 2:33 a.m. - 2003-05-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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