mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Money Makes the World Go Round Well, it looks like I won't be taking classes this summer, after all. No money. None. I got my paycheck yesterday- Over a two week period, I made less than $300. I cannot live like that. My bills are piling up again. I'm obsessively writing and rewriting budgets, hoping to find some error, somewhere. Money has never really meant much to me, but this is ridiculous. If things keep going at this rate, I'll be bringing home less than $550 each month- That's near poverty. Maybe that is poverty. Sure feels like it. Crystal tried to reaasure me, yesterday, when I picked up my check and discovered how little it was. She told me I could borrow money from her, if I needed to. Sweet girl. We stopped by the grocery store, and I nearly had a breakdown. Fifteen dollars, I told myself, I can spend fifteen dollars. One can of apple juice, $0.88. A bag of cereal, $2.50. Cat food, $2.89. Milk, $1.12. I had Crystal keep an eye on my shopping cart, and I went to the restroom and sat down and cried. I've always been preoccupied with the idea that I'll end up like my parents. I love them both very much, and they're wonderful people, but they don't have much more than I do. Mom won't be able to retire anytime soon- She's in huge debt, still hasn't paid her student loans. Dad is $80,000 in the hole between back taxes and unpaid child support. Neither of them owns their own home, or even reliable vehicles. Mom buys a car every year or so, when the one she bought of the side of the road several months ago finally dies. Dad stays in a basement apartment in my cousin's house. There are many ways I'd love to be just like my Mom and Dad, but not financially. I want to have something to show for my years of hard work, someday. I don't want to have to worry about shut-off notices and pinchin-pennies, anymore. 8:27 a.m. - 2003-05-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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