mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You + Me in Isolation Again, finding myself completely perplexed at the ways people stumble across this page. Big day with the Googlings, yesterday- The following searches listed this diary as a result: "Ripped my panties off" "Aderol pictures" "Hope you'll find somebody new" "Black on white sex" ...And I am sitting here, scratching my head, going "huh?" I had this dream last night (and yeah, I know that nobody likes hearing about other peoples' dreams, not even me, but bear with me just this once) about my Grandmother- Not the crazy, cute, bubble-hair Grandma (Grandma Shirley) but the sweet, quiet, religious Grandma (who was, when she was alive, simply "Gramma".) She was sitting across the table from me, and I was holding her hand and staring at a silvery chain that was twined around her wrist. The chain was connected to a pocket watch, one that my Grandfather gave me before he died. I hadn't been thinking of her any more than usual lately, so the dream was a surprise- Some part of me, deep down inside, believes that maybe my dear, lovely Grandma was reaching out from wherever her soul is, now, letting me know that she still loves me. My beliefs on death and the afterlife (and I use that word hesitantly, because I'm not even quite sure if I believe in an afterlife) are pretty logical and scientific. I think, for the most part, that we die and that's it- No big tunnel of light, no angels or devils, no re-incarnation- Just death. Just an end. Other times, though, I think of the richness and complexity of human souls, and it seems that there is no way that you die and that's all gone. People- all of us- have too much inside of them for it to just disappear the moment the body dies. How the hell did I get on this topic? Sheesh. Sorry, guys. It's time for coffee, now, and a nice hot shower, so I should go. Take care, folks. 9:02 p.m. - 2003-06-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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