mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- always your voice I worked the graveyard shift last night, and I scribbled this in my paper journal while I did: So, things are okay with me right now. I've got my lovely boy, Jeromy, and I've got my sweet Matt, and I'm gonna go to school. Life is pretty all right. Fighting with Crystal, though, and that kind of casts a dark cloud over all of this. She isn't being her- She's being childish and a bit selfish and she's never happy. I can't fix it, so I'm trying not to worry. I DO worry, but I'm trying not to. Matt told me some stuff about Ozzy, the other day, something he said last year- I can't say it, exactly, but itmade me happy. He was talking about the night he rescued me from my drunken self (and I just tried to find a page to link you to, but I couldn't, so I'll just tell you that I was in a shitty situation and I was too drunk to know otherwise. Ozzy helped me up the stairs to my apartment, and he put me in bed. That was the night I gave him "The Perks of Being a Wallflower," because I wanted to thank him for being such a phenomenal person.) I remember that night, when he helped me get home- I remember pushing my back against his chest and feeling his hands on my waist and and and I remember thinking that he felt so perfect pressed against me. I've got Jeromy now, and I'm happy with him, but there will always be a tiny piece of me wholly devoted to Ozzy because he's Ozzy and I'm Angela and that's the way it is. So it goes. Oh, and Matt wants me to write with him! That so deserves an exclamation point. I've wanted to hear him say that for a long time, and now I have. It made me happy, happy, happy. So three cheers for that. I think of Matt at the OneLineDrawing show, his lips forming "I love you, too," from across the room, and it just... sets me aglow. He's fucked-up, and a little bit broken, but he's my Matty, and I love him to pieces. 9:04 p.m. - 2003-08-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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