mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- wood/water Where am I going? Sometimes I close my eyes and picture myself riding in the back of a pickup truck, surrounded by golden fields and telephone lines, way out in the middle of Somewhere Else. Other times I see a girl in a cowboy hat holding my hand as we rock back and forth on a porch swing, sipping beer and laughing. I want the girl, I want the fields, the porch swing-- hell, the porch-- the beer, the laughing. Instead I have a smokey laundry room/office, a futon, and one very old melon flavored wine cooler. Fuck. And also, in spite of my current feelings of discontent, when I look at Jeromy I feel like the blood in my head stops moving and my heart beats too fast for my weak, smoky chest, and like maybe maybe maybe I might float away. 1:38 a.m. - 2003-10-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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