mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MotorLeague Christmas, Christmas, one week away, tra lee fucking la. This time of year makes me crazy. I feel inadequate. I can't buy the people I love expensive gifts-- Some of them don't even get gifts, period. No money, baby. Never any money. It's going to be a little bit tighter this year, because Mom lost her job. I think the Fates thought it would be terrific fun to give her a heart attack a week before Thanksgiving and then make her lose her job a week before Christmas. Sigh, sigh. I love that my friends and I have an understanding that sometimes, we won't get our Christmas gifts until our birthdays. Good friends. One year, I gave Erika a folder full of stuff I'd written about her for her birthday, notes we'd passed each other in our seventh grade drama class. I wrote a report for English that year about how much I admired her. She still has it somewhere, I think. Another year, she gave me an audio cassete she made of herself talking and playing music-- I still have that, and I treasure it. Ben Folds, Ben Kweller, and Ben Lee have an EP out of stuff they wrote together. It just occurred to me that this diary is a representation of me. Like, somebody in Canada or Minnesota or Hawaii might read this and think this is all that I am. Weird thought. I am words on an electric box. Curiouser and curiouser. I'm in a random mood. So here are some random things for you: 1) My favorite pens are Pilot Precise Extra Fine Rolling Ball pens. They're the only kind I use besides good ol' Bic Stics. 2) No matter how hard I try, I can't get into Green Lantern as much as I'd like. 3) Zach still has my bike and my acoustic. 4) You wish I was a fairy tale. 5) I love my friends and I hate them. 6) I boss my family and friends around a lot, mostly because I want them to avoid making stupid mistakes that they can't see. 7) My friend John admitted to peeing in my cat's litter box once. 8) If I could still find employment, I'd tattoo my entire body. 9) Sometimes, I lie awake at night and think about what I'd do if I won the lottery. All my friends would get money and cars and houses, and I'd buy a house and go to school and eventually teach. 10) I recently switched to menthols. 11) I'm really going to miss Zach when he moves in February. 12) I like the word "February." 13) My sister likes the band Good Charlotte a lot. She has posters all over the place with little hearts around the lead singer's head. 14) When I was her age, I had a big fat crush on Jonathan Jackson from General Hospital. My first ever crush was on Peter Tork from the Monkees. 15) I threw up today. 16) Creaking barstools. 17) I'm secretly in love with all of you. 18) My Mom has a huge framed Rosie the Riveter poster on the wall in the computer room. 19) My Mom is a total babe. 20) I'm jealous. 21) Jeromy is an ESTJ. I'm an INFP. 22) There's this Wicca girl who works in the cage at the casino. She wears a huge pentagram on a chain. 23) I'm gonna marry Andrew Fleck. 24) My dog's fur has gotten darker since she had her babies. 25) Nothing feels good like you in your red and blue jeans and your white and night things. 2:40 a.m. - 2003-12-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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