mainsqueeze's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- text designs Who the fuck did I think I was fooling? Last night brought back the horrible feelings of isolation, loneliness. I locked the door to my room after Matt and Adrian left and cried until my head was hot and ready to burst, until I fell asleep. I've been such a bitch lately. I know this. I know, I know, why would anybody want to be around somebody like me? Hmmm? I came home from work last night to silence. Crystal was silent, folding laundry in the other room, oblivious of the fact that I was there. Donald-- Crystal's houseguest-- must be holding a grudge about my big angry blow-out a few days ago (bitchy. I told you I was.) because he didn't aknowledge me, either. So, I walked into this place-- my "home"-- and felt so fucking unwelcome that I was tempted to turn and leave. The other day, during the aforementioned blowout, Crystal and I were trying to talk things out, smooth things over. She leaned over the railing of our porch and asked, "Do you know how shitty and unwelcome Donald feels right now?" I think I get the idea, now. I think I do know what it feels like, best friend. 4:35 a.m. - 2004-06-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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